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The Substitute Who Could Not Stop Punning

8th grade fiction passage about a substitute teacher who loves puns: 292 words, six questions, an answer key and vocabulary.

8th grade fiction a substitute teacher who loves puns 292 words

The Substitute Who Could Not Stop Punning

When Mr. Lathrop walked into room 14 on Monday morning, the eighth graders expected an ordinary substitute with a clipboard and a sigh. Instead he wrote his name on the board, turned around, and said that he hoped everyone had a "grate" day, because the cheese lesson had been moved to Friday. Nobody laughed. A few students stared at him as if he had spoken in another language, and Marisol whispered that she was fairly sure he was joking.

He was, and he did not stop. When Devon asked where to hand in his homework, Mr. Lathrop said to put it on the desk because the paper was "tired" and wanted to lie down. When the bell rang, he announced that time flies, but only when you are having fun, and that the clock was probably still waiting for its wings. By lunch the class had decided that he was the most exhausting teacher they had ever met, and by afternoon they had started keeping score on the whiteboard.

Then Marisol had an idea. She asked the class to answer every pun with a bigger one. When Mr. Lathrop said that the math problem was "adding up," Devon replied that it was a real "sum-thing." When he said that the grammar quiz was "a verb of caution," the whole room groaned and cheered together. By the end of the day he was laughing so hard that he had to sit down, and he admitted that no class had ever fought back before. The students made a deal: puns during the warm-up, serious lessons afterward. On Friday, Mr. Lathrop left a note on the board that read, "It was a pleasure to teach you. Please do not 'pun-ish' the next substitute."

Questions

  1. What kind of teacher did the students expect on Monday? in the text

  2. What did Mr. Lathrop say about the clock? in the text

  3. What idea did Marisol have? in the text

  4. What deal did the students make with Mr. Lathrop? in the text

  5. Why did the students keep score on the whiteboard? think about it

  6. Why did Mr. Lathrop laugh so hard at the end of the day? think about it

Words to know

substitute
a teacher who fills in for the regular teacher
exhausting
making you feel very tired
announced
told something to everyone in a clear way
admitted
agreed that something was true
pun
a joke that plays on words that sound alike
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One passage, three levels

The same topic and facts written three ways, so a mixed class can read and talk about one text. Each group’s sheet shows only a shape; the key says which is which.

● Easier · 241 words · Flesch-Kincaid grade 2.6

On Monday, Mr. Lathrop walked into room 14. The eighth graders thought he would be a plain substitute with a clipboard. He wrote his name on the board. Then he said he hoped everyone had a "grate" day, because the cheese lesson was moved to Friday. Nobody laughed. Marisol whispered that he was joking.

He was, and he did not stop. Devon asked where to put his homework. Mr. Lathrop said to put it on the desk, because the paper was tired and wanted to lie down. When the bell rang, he said time flies when you are having fun, and the clock was still waiting for its wings. By lunch the class thought he was the most tiring teacher ever. By afternoon they kept score on the whiteboard.

Then Marisol had an idea. She told the class to answer each pun with a bigger one. Mr. Lathrop said the math problem was "adding up." Devon said it was a real "sum-thing." Then Mr. Lathrop said the grammar quiz was "a verb of caution." The room groaned and cheered. By the end of the day he was laughing so hard he had to sit down. He said no class had ever fought back before. They made a deal. Puns came in the warm-up. Serious lessons came after. On Friday, he left a note. It said, "It was a pleasure to teach you. Please do not 'pun-ish' the next substitute."

▲ This passage · 292 words · Flesch-Kincaid grade 7

When Mr. Lathrop walked into room 14 on Monday morning, the eighth graders expected an ordinary substitute with a clipboard and a sigh. Instead he wrote his name on the board, turned around, and said that he hoped everyone had a "grate" day, because the cheese lesson had been moved to Friday. Nobody laughed. A few students stared at him as if he had spoken in another language, and Marisol whispered that she was fairly sure he was joking.

He was, and he did not stop. When Devon asked where to hand in his homework, Mr. Lathrop said to put it on the desk because the paper was "tired" and wanted to lie down. When the bell rang, he announced that time flies, but only when you are having fun, and that the clock was probably still waiting for its wings. By lunch the class had decided that he was the most exhausting teacher they had ever met, and by afternoon they had started keeping score on the whiteboard.

Then Marisol had an idea. She asked the class to answer every pun with a bigger one. When Mr. Lathrop said that the math problem was "adding up," Devon replied that it was a real "sum-thing." When he said that the grammar quiz was "a verb of caution," the whole room groaned and cheered together. By the end of the day he was laughing so hard that he had to sit down, and he admitted that no class had ever fought back before. The students made a deal: puns during the warm-up, serious lessons afterward. On Friday, Mr. Lathrop left a note on the board that read, "It was a pleasure to teach you. Please do not 'pun-ish' the next substitute."

■ Harder · 308 words · Flesch-Kincaid grade 8.5

When Mr. Lathrop strolled into room 14 on Monday morning, the eighth graders anticipated an unremarkable substitute equipped with a clipboard and a weary sigh. Instead, he wrote his name across the board, turned around, and expressed his hope that everyone would have a "grate" day, since the cheese lesson had unfortunately been postponed until Friday. Nobody laughed. Several students stared at him as though he had spoken in a foreign language, and Marisol murmured that she was reasonably certain he was joking.

He was, and he showed no sign of stopping. When Devon asked where to submit his homework, Mr. Lathrop advised him to leave it on the desk because the paper was "tired" and wished to lie down. When the bell rang, he declared that time flies, but only when you are having fun, and that the clock was presumably still waiting for its wings. By lunchtime the class had concluded that he was the most exhausting teacher they had ever encountered, and by the afternoon they had begun keeping a running tally on the whiteboard.

Then Marisol came up with a plan. She urged her classmates to answer every pun with a bigger one. When Mr. Lathrop remarked that the math problem was "adding up," Devon retorted that it was a genuine "sum-thing." When he observed that the grammar quiz was "a verb of caution," the entire room groaned and cheered at the same moment. By the end of the day he was laughing so hard that he was forced to sit down, and he confessed that no class had ever fought back before. The students negotiated a deal: puns during the warm-up, serious lessons afterward. On Friday, Mr. Lathrop left a farewell note on the board that read, "It was a pleasure to teach you. Please do not 'pun-ish' the next substitute."

Download as one PDF

How to use it

  1. Press Read it big (or B) to put the text on the projector, or Full screen (F) to fill the whole screen.
  2. Ask the questions one at a time and use Show answer when the class has decided. A shows or hides every answer.
  3. Print student copy for the class, or Print with answers for yourself.

Ideas for class

  • Before reading, put substitute, exhausting, announced, admitted and pun on the board with their meanings from the Words to know section and have students predict what the story will be about.
  • Read it aloud once while students follow along, then have them reread it alone or with a partner. At a calm 100 words a minute it takes about 3 minutes to read aloud.
  • Use the Read it big button (or B) to put the text on the projector, and Show answer on one question at a time so the class commits to an answer first.
  • Question 5 asks the reader to infer. Ask students to point to the words in the passage that led them to their answer.
  • Ask students to retell the story in three sentences: how it began, what the problem was, and how it ended.
  • Print the student copy for independent work and keep the answer-key copy for yourself.

Related

Questions

What reading level is "The Substitute Who Could Not Stop Punning"?

It was written for 8th grade. It has 292 words and works out to a Flesch-Kincaid grade level of about 7.0. That is a formula's estimate from sentence length and syllables, and it is not a Lexile or a guided reading level, so check it against your students.

What do the questions ask?

There are six. 4 ask for something the text says directly and 2 ask the reader to work something out from clues. Each has an answer in the key, and the answers are written as a teacher would accept them, not as the only possible wording.

How long does it take to read?

About 3 minutes read aloud at 100 words a minute. For a one-minute fluency check, paste it into the fluency timer and use the word count.

Can I print it?

Yes. Print student copy gives the passage, the questions with lines to write on, and the word meanings. Print with answers gives the same page with the answers filled in. Both are made in your browser.

Is this passage from a published book?

No. It was written for Peabody Teach, so there is no book to buy and no login to read it.

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