Zeb Tuttle and the Thirty-Mile Sneeze
Zeb Tuttle lived on a farm so windy that the chickens laid their eggs sideways. One spring morning he walked into the barn and sniffed a pinch of pepper that Grandma had spilled. His nose twitched. His eyes watered. His chest swelled up like a balloon at the fair.
"Ah," said Zeb. "Ah... ah..."
His sister Mabel dove behind a hay bale, because she knew exactly what was coming. The last time Zeb sneezed, the neighbor's hat flew off his head and was never seen again.
"AH-CHOOOO!"
The sneeze rattled every window in the county and blew the laundry off Grandma's clothesline, sending it sailing over the distant hills. A pair of long underwear landed on top of the steeple in town, and three socks fell into the pond, where the frogs wore them for a week. The scarecrow spun around so fast that he grew dizzy and had to sit down.
When the wind calmed, the family stared at the empty clothesline. "Well," said Grandma, "at least the sheets got a ride."
Zeb felt terrible, so he thought of a clever plan. He sewed a giant sack and hung it beside the barn door, and whenever he felt a sneeze coming, he hurried over and sneezed right into the sack. By autumn the sack was so full of wind that Zeb used it to push a little boat across the pond. Grandma's wash now dried in two minutes flat, and the neighbors lined up to borrow his sneezes on washing day.