How to Teach Your Shoes to Tie Themselves
Do you want shoes that tie themselves? Here is how to teach them, but it takes lots of patience and it may not work.
Step one: Sit on the floor and set your shoes in front of you. Look at them in a friendly way, because shoes like to be looked at.
Step two: Say in a calm voice, "Loop, swoop, and pull." Say it ten times, and say it slowly so the laces can follow along.
Step three: Wiggle your fingers to show how it is done, and make the bunny ears. Ask the shoes to copy you. Your shoes will do nothing at all, which is normal.
Step four: Wait for one whole hour. If the laces still have not moved, say "Good try" in a kind voice.
Step five: Tie them yourself, using the loop, swoop, and pull. Now check the knot. Your shoes did not learn a thing, but you sure did.